Though this can be surprising to some folks, texture and scent are two very important factors of buying sex toys. But given that this is an object you’ll be introducing to your sex life, it’s pretty fundamentally important that it doesn’t smell weird or feel gross to you! (Would you let a person that smelled weird or felt gross to you into your bed?)

I’ve heard many people say that their vibrator “needs to be soft,” making me think there’s some confusion there. Lots of sex toys are rough and abrasive, true—but “soft” is not the opposite of that, I promise. In the world of sex toys, soft does not mean sensual, smooth, or gentle. It usually means squishy, and squishy sex toys are just crappy. They make penetration more difficult, since the orifices you would want to penetrate have at least some muscle that needs rigidity to poke through. A squishy vibe used externally just deadens the vibration by absorbing it. The truth is, a vibrator needs to be fairly hard if you want to get the most out of it. Not rough or harsh, of course, but rigid. (Consider, too: it may seem hard as you hold it but how will you be using it? Hopefully it’s going to be sliding against you, not hitting you in the head.) 

A bit of give is fine, like with a firm silicone or a solid TPR coating, but skip the squishy toys. What you want to start with is something firm and smooth and, unless you want to use a lot of lubricant, not sticky. Hard plastics should be fine but with anything else slide it up and down your forearm and make sure it doesn’t drag. If it does, know that you will absolutely need to use lube. 

Now we need to consider the smell. I know it might seem weird to sniff sex toys, but please do so! The highest-quality toys and hard plastic toys will have almost no odor, maybe just traces of the factory it was made in (please wash all toys before using!). That aside, most types of soft plastic have an odor. Even just a thin skin of a softer plastic can sometimes stink. Occasionally the plastic is even scented for whatever reason. Love it or hate it, the smell will not go away and can be so strong that your entire toy collection can be located by that smell alone. If you don’t like the smell in the store, guess what? It won’t be better when you get home, and you’ll probably like it less as time goes on. Next up, we’ll examine something that really makes or breaks the vibrator experience: vibration.