Time to talk about shopping. If you can get to a store with a moderate selection,  then you have a great advantage. Get yourself settled in and then ask a staff member if they are willing to let you see the vibration on their toys. Usually they will have a bunch of testers available, or they’ll be willing to put batteries in the toys you are interested in. Keep in mind that if they have been trained correctly for the industry, they want to get a vibrator into your hand as quickly as possible. It doesn’t matter what kind—they aren’t trying to sell you that specific item—they just want to get something vibrating into your hands. The main reason for this? The sooner you get a toy into your hands, the sooner you’ll be able to get past your nerves and actually start shopping. If you seem very nervous, the staff member may joke about something outrageous that they sell, like edible undies, just to get you to laugh and relax a bit. This works to your advantage, since you want to get to know as many different toys as you can. 

Next, start thinking about what you’re looking for. What do you see around the store that might fit the bill? Describe what you think you want to the employee and ask for suggestions. Check prices as you go, because they can vary wildly and you don’t want to give yourself a case of sticker shock. When you have a few that look good, ask the employee to see them out of the package. Ask them to put batteries in any that need them, and ask if they have any charged testers of the rechargeables. Then start really examining what you have found. Touch them, smell them, turn them on and off, turn them up and down, see what functions they have, get to know them. Obviously, there are serious limitations to what you can figure out in the store, and at this point nobody knows what you will like. So go in knowing that this is going to take some time. You should expect to look at a lot of different toys before you find exactly what you want. And while ideally this is a fun process, keep in mind that you want to be picky. You are taking this into bed with you. For instance, something as simple as the color of the toy could have an effect on how you feel about toys in the future. Make sure you are making the best choice for yourself and don’t rush through it. (It bears pointing out that because sex toys are frequently in contact with bodily fluids, it’s tough to return them just because you don’t like them.)

Above all, remember: take your time and ask questions. The folks at the store can be really helpful, and they really do want you to relax. (Tense people make rushed choices and those do not tend to lead to repeat customers!) While this is the ideal way to find your first vibrator, I recognize that not everyone has access to a good store—or even a store at all. So we’ll wrap up this series with a guide to buying your first vibrator online.