Okay this is for anyone who is trying a first vibrator on a someone with a vagina, on their own bits or someone else’s. We just discussed what to look for in a first vibrator so for this part you can assume I am talking about a small straight vibe such as was suggested previously. Most of these instructions can be adapted if you made a different choice of shape or size.
The first thing everyone thinks of when starting with a vibrator is either the clitoris or the vagina/g-spot. That makes sense and certainly sex toy companies encourage that. I personally have a vagina and I do enjoy vibration in both those places but that doesn’t mean those areas are the best place to start. These are some of the most sensitive parts of the body and they don’t usually like surprises. Give the anatomy some time to get used to things, and before you start on genitals try using the vibrator in some more ordinary, and less sensitive, spots first. It has happened to customers of mine, someone buys a vibe to use on their partner, whips it out suddenly and touches it to an unsuspecting clitoris then wonders why they are suddenly alone in bed with a hole in the roof! Even if it’s just you and not a surprise it’s still better to start in a less touchy area of the body.
Usually the best places to start are the sides of the neck, the breast and nipples, the top of the thighs and the crease between the thighs and hips. The armpits and feet can get some interesting reactions, although those are as likely to tickle as anything. There are people who find this very sensual, tickles and all. Explore everything and try to take your time, this should be a slow and sensual experience.
As a note: The slow part applies to power play relationships too. Even if slow and sensual are not the usual themes in your relationship it pays to start slow here to get a good feel for the effect the vibration is having. Vibrators have different effects on different people and figuring them out is helpful no matter the dynamic of the relationship.
When you do get as far as genital contact there is still more exploring to do. The tip of the clit and g-spot are the obvious spots to play with but still don’t go right to them.
It’s probably best to start on the lower belly and move towards the mons. The mons itself has a lot more sensitivity than you might expect so it’s a good place to cover fully. Move towards direct genital contact gradually and let the body get used to the sensation. Run the vibe down along the outside of the outer lips and the outside of the labia if you can. Be aware of reactions as you do this, you are getting to the very sensitive zones. If the human in question is okay with it you can run it around the butt cheeks and anus as well. If everything is still okay, lay it
alongside or just above the clitoris. For some folks these spots are actually better than the tip and just behind the head of the clit on the top is a common sweet spot too. Always approach this carefully; there are some folks who can’t handle vibration directly on the clit at all. That is not something you want to find out once it’s already there.
Then there’s the vagina which should also be approached with care. Circle it externally first and when you do start to push inside do it gently. The area just inside the entrance can be one of the best places to vibrate. The first thing anyone thinks of vaginally is the g-spot which has certainly gotten the most publicity, like does it even exist? I will cover that question in more depth in a future post but whether it does or not there are definitely “hot spots” in the vagina where stimulation feels even stronger. Those spots are usually, though not always, at the top or front (towards the belly) or at the bottom or back (towards the butt) of the vagina. Those areas also happen to be at points where there are other large nerve groups close by, as the urethra runs along the top (front) and the rectum along the bottom (back). All of these nearby nerves can be triggered by various types of stimulation including vibration which increases sensation overall.
So as you are using your vibrator inside the vagina be sure to tilt the tip up and down and side to side slowly. See how it feels in each area and if there is an area where the feelings get more intense. It may be where the g-spot is supposed to be or it may not. It may feel good or it may not, you might just get the need-to-pee feeling, but you are sure to get a variety of sensations. There’s a lot of nerve endings and possibilities here, that’s why we explore.
Generally the areas closest to the entrance are the most sensitive to vibration, not that it can’t be felt further in but it will be generally less intense.
In the end you are probably going to find out all sorts of things about the body in question that I have not mentioned here and that is a good thing. I encourage you to find out all sorts of things I don’t know; that’s the fun of it!
